Costumes can be incredibly fun; they allow you to experiment, expand, see from a different perspective a little bit. Every once in a while I get an inspiration to create one for an event, and I generally get carried away with it. It’s fun to create a vision that’s never been done exactly that way before. I don’t think it’s good to always want to wear costumes or disguises – that speaks to a whole other kind of issue. But it’s really fun to get decked out here and there and see what fun I can stir up.
I stayed up late last night and finished my bike ride costume. It didn’t come out at all like I expected, but I love it anyway. Even though I made up my own pattern, used fabrics inappropriately (that’s supposed to be bridal fabric, not swimsuit, lmfao), and I’m an impatient seamstress, it’s exactly like I wanted. I was even going to bail out on the party, but now I’ve got other people on board so I guess I really am going to wear that out in public. Ohhhhhh. I’m thinking I might need whiskey to deal with that level of social anxiety – holy $%#&.
My friend and I went for happy hour and a walk downtown tonight, strolling and giggling in the sunshine. I love how we can talk about anything, and he’s actually a friend, unlike the “be my friends with benefits” fireman who only romanced and seduced so he could get laid – which, whatever, you do you, but it sucked anyway. None of us need someone who isn’t going to invest, who will only wear the costume, the social disguise.
Clothes help us disguise things and blend into whatever tribe we want to belong to, but there are so many other ways to put on a mask and try to hide what we don’t want others to see. I want to strip that shit down, get raw and honest, then wrap the vulnerable soul core up and cherish it. That seems like a better basis of connection and human interaction. Yup, still single, lmao, but I have some wonderful friends that I understand and connect to no matter what costume we wear. Or in this case – what we barely wear.
Forever May Not Be Long Enough – Live