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My friends say such wonderful things to me, but is that the tape that plays over and over in my head? Of course not. That soundtrack has turned out to be the most difficult thing to change. And how do I feel with a melody of negativity and derogatory comments? And how do I react to that? I know this. I also know part of why I’m crashed so hard right now, but I can’t figure out the other part, and I feel like I’m dying.

I get asked why I’m so compassionate and warm, and I try to explain; I know how vital human relationships are, and how that connection has saved me so many times. That feeling of knowing someone else on a soul connecting level, or even those brief moments of life where you connect with a stranger and you think about it forever – those are the parts of life that keep me going when all else seems lost. And oh yes it all seems lost right now.

FFS I need a new soundtrack.

The Sound of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel

The Sound of Silence – The Disturbed

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