I think about dating again and I just can’t. I’ve had too many horrific other things happen to me by men in my past, and it’s more than I can bear – at the moment – to have to go interview a bunch more, just looking for one viable decent one when no other ones even interest me. Men mostly scare the shit out of me, even though I’ve worked very hard to shed the nightmares and trauma of my past and approach each one with an open mind. Now I’m so gun shy that the entire process just makes me sad and jumpy and beyond lonely. It doesn’t seem to be worth it for the emotional upsets that dating causes. For now, it’s better to walk through alone and keep my stability as much as I can, without some impatient, un-compassionate dick who doesn’t understand to come plowing through and doing damage.
This wasn’t how I wanted things to be at all, and how sucky that it’s where I am anyway.
Fine State Of Affairs – Burton Cummings
Everybody’s Lonely – Jukebox the Ghost